Do you know what it feels like to be truly happy? To be in alignment with what your soul’s desire?
Have you ever had a smile from ear to ear and felt yourself lifted off the ground, light with each step?
This is what it means to find you joy. This is what it means to do and say “yes” to things that make you feel happy, excited and purposeful and to be able to do so with ease and minimal effort.
What feels effortful and drains our energy is doing things, making choices that go against the flow of our spirit or soul’s purpose. It is draining, energetically to resist or swim against the current.
Have you ever gone down a path, perhaps with work or towards a goal you set for yourself and found nothing but obstacles and challenges? Have you encountered situations that made you feel frustrated, angry, set back, disappointed or even exhausted? Did you ever think, why am I doing this again? Is this the right path?
What keeps us going on the wrong path or makes our life seem so hard?
- Fear. When we are afraid of not being enough, having enough or failing, we often get in our own way. We tune out the messages of our soul and choose to let the noise and demands of society dictate what we should do or how we should be.
I recently listened to this free webinar on giving a Ted talk… one of my big goals. The speaker said something that resonated with me about life. He said…
“What is bigger for you, your fears or your purpose?”
- Belief Systems. One of the biggest and foundational concepts I work on with people is the awareness of our belief systems that drive our choices, actions, values and create stories in our head.
A belief system is a set of beliefs we hold to be true in our subconscious mind that were formed from our experiences and messaging as a child. Now, I must say that our parents/ caregivers did not intend to create these belief systems in us, but inadvertently did with their words, actions, and emphasis on values.
For example, my belief system is that I am not enough. It drives me to prove otherwise and leads to emotional triggers when I think something or someone doesn’t think I am enough or questions my value. Even though I am aware of this, I still get triggered, but I am now able to say, “Oh, that was my not enough button getting pushed”. I have learned how to (and teach others to) question the “story” or belief system and begin to reframe them.
The belief system, if I allow it to drive my choices and thoughts, can rob me of my joy and my power.
- Pleasing Others. Along the same lines as the belief system, we often get so disconnected from ourselves, from our inside world that we let what others think or seem to want, which is the outside world, drive our choices and actions.
The inside world is our connection to our own mind, body and spirt needs. The outside world is other people’s desires, expectations, needs, or happiness. When we focus on the outside world, we try to please others at the expense of our own needs, desires and wellbeing.
Finding your joy is about doing what you love or feel called to do. It is about tuning into your inside world. This is where your power lies. Being able to take back your power means reconnecting to your inside world and allowing this connection to drive your choices, thoughts and actions. This is where you will find optimal health and happiness.
How do you know when you are tuned into your inside world and are in a moment of joy?
- You get a full body “YES”. This is when your body gets tingly, your heart feels light and full, your face breaks out in a smile, and, sometimes, you feel some butterflies in your belly. Your body feels lit up and maybe even lighter. Your mind is full of positivity and wonder. You don’t think of excuses, just possibilities.
The opposite is the full body “no” when your body feels heavy, contracted, with a pit in your stomach or a sinking feeling in your gut. With a “no”, you think of excuses or “what if” scenarios play in your head. The fear and resistance begins to creep in.
- Time stands still. When you are truly in your joy, you get lost in doing. You are not thinking of how much time it takes, how long you have been at it. Maybe you need to set an alarm or have someone draw you back to reality, otherwise you would keep going, lost in time. You get lost in the moment.
- Everything flows with ease and grace. When you are in alignment with your soul and purpose and doing what you love, there is little effort or obstacle. It flows from your heart and soul. For example, I have done programs and talks that take very little preparation or research for me. The words, concepts and even research flows from my mind and the nerves fall away. This is when my purpose is stronger than my fear.
When something is in alignment with your heart and soul or your purpose and intention, doors seem to open. Connections seem to occur with people, with ideas easily and effortlessly. When you get out of your own way, it is amazing what you can manifest and attract.
I encourage you to confront your fears and get still so you can connect to your inner world. Allow yourself a moment to check in with how your body feels and what your mind and spirit tells you when you are asked to do something or when an opportunity comes knocking on your door. Are you getting a full body “yes”? Think of something you enjoy and times stands still for. What would your life be like if you allowed yourself to do this every day or a few times a week? When you begin to do more of what brings you joy and let your spirit lead you, how would your life transform?
If this seems overwhelming, or hard for you, or you do not know where to even start, reach out to me. I am offering four mini “Integrative Life Reset” sessions which is two, one hour coaching calls for the price of one this month. Reach out to me today if you want to discover how to begin to tune into the messages of your mind, body and spirit and take back your power over your health and happiness.
Jennifer Wren Tolo